|
| i realized that i haven't updated since last year......
That's Leah, she's 2 and when i got this pic from my mom it came with the caption "no touch my haterblockers!" I taught her how to say all sorts of fun things this past visit that wasn't nearly long enough. Mom told me that she woke up yesterday from her nap and was talking about going to disney world to see mickey mouse and that she was going to hold his hand and kiss him. my nephew Danny wants to be Jack Sparrow for Halloween, and Hannah is very quickly becoming all arms and gawky legs.
My sexy pirate doesn't come to work much, he's apparently going thru some tough stuff and doesn't seem to want help. I hope he's able to get thru whatever it is and, a bit selfishly, I hope he gets back to work in time to be in the halloween parade, Danny would love to meet him.
Christmas was shit. I now cannot stand my manager and refuse to ever work for her like that again. I used to love christmas. When my parents moved i started to not like it as much. the parade season of 07 helped me not like it much at all, and now this woman has ruined it for me. it was tolerable only because of the guys that i worked with. they were sweet.
Today as i worked yet another SpectroMagic Parade I was in a not so good mood. I've been that way lately and it's because i'm over spectro and don't find it as much fun as i used to. the maganer that typically works it has ruined it for most of us that worked it prior to her. it has lost the magic it once held. i used to get excited to work the parade. now i even dread going to work at magic kingdom. After lunch and while the characters were getting dressed my day improved some, because a friend of mine heard my voice and came over to see me and make me smile. Then i had to rush to dress and rush out the door because tonite i was dressing the mouse himself and i needed to get to the float and set up. And as i stood there, a bit nervously, 15 feet in the air watching the chaos start to unfold below me. i turned and looked just as Mickey wiggled his nose. and i could help but smile. I helped him with his gloves, he wears special ones for spectro, and unteathered myself from the float and stepped onto the forklift, i turned and told Mickey to have a good parade and he wiggled his nose at me again. and even though there was insanity all around the magic was back. in an instant all over again i relized that i have one of the coolest jobs ever. I know Mickey Mouse, he gives me hugs when i see him. Goofy loves my brownies. tonite i stood there and discussed the changes that could be made to Big Bad Wolf's lighted costume that he wears for spectro... with Big Bad Wolf! And how many people can say they've seen prince charming in his underwear? Not too many I can tell you that. I still want to learn the newest parade, and i still don't want to work with that vile woman, but i don't think i'll ever be able to leave this job, or spectro. I love it too much. It's too much a part of me.
Well that's all that's on my mind right now. well that and i'm gettin stoked that diane is gonna come visit me in a little over 2 weeks.
Love and Magic
Natalie
| | |
| in life there will always be things that we don't want to do but we have to, pay our taxes, work with people that we can't stand, coordinate a parade with a unit you hated from last year and don't feel that it's worth fighting for........ oh wait that's just me on the last one.
Just to catch you up on what that last little bit meant. I was chosen to coordinate the Toy Soldiers for the Christmas parade. This should be something exciting. It should be something that I'm proud of. It should be something I signed up for if i wanted it. But I didn't want it. I wanted to work fur not coordinate it just work it as a regular person. but Nooooooooooooo my manager had to make a decision and apparently I was the one she picked. Now if you knew how much I enjoyed last year's christmas parade working with the toys you would know that I DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM AT ALL THIS YEAR. after my manager told me i was put under insane pressure to be perfect, then the other day she told me that not much is asked (expected) of the toy coord. anyway. oh gee golly thanks you ask me to do something and make me feel like I have to be perfect to prove my worthyness of it (something i didn't even want to begin with) and now you tell me that you don't even expect much of me. neat thanks. meanwhile the girl who sub coord. last year wanted it again this year and was made the sub for all three of us. fun story she's trying to take the toys from me behind my back and infront of my face at the same time. And of course my manager has failed to train me in how or what I'm supposed to do so I know nothing and yet I'm expected to know how and what to do. And the one thing I thought I had control over, who was going to be on my crew for each event, was taken away from me becasue it's not enough to put me on a parade i didn't want and give me a unit i wasn't happy with but now let's give me the creepy guy that smells that creeps out the whole crew.
so all in all my life isn't too amazing right now. the few things i have are Halloween parade and that's over in 2 days. and my coworkers, the noncreepy ones, and food. I'm stress eating like crazy and I want something else to help get rid of the stress and I don't know of anything else.
also i might be making a choice that i may regret. but part of me wants something to regret. i don't feel like i've lived much of a life. i feel like i've just been coasting along doing what's been expected of me, go to school go to college get degree get a job and live on my own. been there done that. i have all the diplomas and I have my own place and I have a job. I still feel like i don't do anything. and don't get me wrong I love my job, I work with mickey mouse and flirt with jack sparrow but i live through other ppls lives and stories and I want to live my own life and make some stupid choices and have something to regret.
oh well. leave love if you want. if you have my number txt me. if i don't respond right away don't worry i'm prolly dressing a bear and i'll get back to you as soon as i can.
Love, stress and regret
Natalie
| | |
| but he's just so damn charming...... and it's not even just that i like the actor. I like it when he's charming me at work too. i wonder what's a girl to do what a pirate has stolen her heart.......
and just so you know I'm talking about the one on the right, Capt. Jack Sparrow, not Barbossa.
love and overtly sexually charming pirates
Natalie
| | |
|  | Currently Listening
Bubbly
By Colbie Caillat
if this isn't my rection i don't know what is
see related |
I wrote yesterday that I again got passed by for another girl. This, if you know at least some of the story of my life, happens often when I crush on boys. But in a twist of i dunno something, even though it hurts like hell I am ok, and I can't believe I'm saying this b/c i don't talk like this, I can see God's hand in it all. I promised myself, God, and my future husband (whoever he may be) that I was going to wait until marriage to have sex. Now lots of girls say this and don't mean it but I really do want to wait. Then this boy here happened to me. He's good lookin, and smooth, and he actually finds me attractive, and not just attractive but HOT. Now if you have no idea what I look like you can picture some one that looks hot and say now why wouldn't she be hot. But take my word for it I'm not what the general population would call hot. I'm someone who is called cute, adorable, and sometimes pretty, but never hot. with the exception of my friends who see the real me and can see passed all the fat. Now this boy knew from the first time we spoke that I had this plan. And yet he did persue me. For the first time ever a boy actually WANTED me. he didn't just say oh your cool to hang with he wanted to be with me in a physical way. I'm gonna be honest I wouldn't mind being with him. And we made out a few times and I really like him, to the point of my body reacts to his looking at me. I have never before in my life had a hard time of keeping my virginity, trust me boys don't ask me for sex they ask me for a light. I wanted so much to tell him that I had changed my mind and broken my promise and I hate breaking promises. I wanted his hands on me. I wanted to be his and him to be mine in a very physical way. And it may have happened if he didn't get himself a girl who would do all that he wanted. And that's where I see God's hand. I still really like this guy and I think he still likes me, but I know that God was looking out for me. And although it still hurts that he's with someone and I sit here alone. I'm more ok then I've ever been with it. because he's still a friend and we still get to see eachother at work and flirt a bit. I know I don't usually pour my heart out to the Xanga world but I needed to say this to someone, anyone even if it's just the internet itself. I find it funny that for 4 and a half years I went to a christian college and never once did I see God's hand in my life as much as I do now working at Disney. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here and I would have never met this boy who has made me more confident then ever in my looks and just myself in general. Now i'm gonna try and see my friend Mandee who I haven't seen in over a year. then get what little bit of sleep I can for work tomorrow. Thanks for taking the time out of your life to read my thoughts. True Love and God's hand Natalie | | |
| SO quick question: Is it wrong that it is already an awesome birthday. Just a quick list to help all y'all catch up. Had to work last night till 10:30.....whatever FINNALLY got to PI and saw that guy... you know...the guy I'm kinda crushin on. Said guy dances with me walks me home talks a good bit of the night wait what's this he's interested?!?!?!?!?!?!? I think I may have made out with him.....wait...yeah that's right Natalie got a lil birthday action LOL who knew that I had to leave Milligan o find a guy that thinks me attractive. Peace and more birthday stories to tell, Natalie P.S. that's right this day just started.......... Oh and a BTW I'm 24! | | |
|
